Welcome to the rumblings in my head. As a child I was hyperactive, or so they say. Now I am cursed with a brain that goes around in speedy circles like my dog does when he sees his dish hovering above his head. As a writer I suppose I am to harness this into something meaningful. But in a blog there can be a free form style of just throwing out there the day's thought string, and that is exactly how I will use this forum.
If there happens to be anyone on the other end holding a little can to their ear, why hello! If not then I guess this is writing practice. Either way, here goes...
Today is a big day of sorts... I am upgrading my editing system for a much newer operating system, a newer computer and upgraded auxiliary programs. This sounds technical enough but I have found the process to be surprisingly emotional.
Emotions are often surprising. My mother's last words were "It's surprising, the emotional responses in death". Her voice sounded happy about it but she was deeply somewhere else and could not elaborate even after some intensive follow up questioning.
So who would think switching software and computer hardware would summon much other than the requisite anxiety and hairpulling involved in tech support? I guess it depends on what kind of meaningful time has been spent with the old system, and in my case therein lies the rub.
You see, I created a whole film on this system, a very personal film. But that alone could be viewed as just a tool in the process if it weren't for how much I learned on this project sitting in this chair seeing images on this screen being played by this software. I did not like my first edit of the film at all. In fact after viewing it the first time I actually hysterically blurted "Oh My God! I have given birth to an ugly and retarded baby! How can I love it?". I am aware how hideously politically incorrect that is but I was traumatized so please forgive me and I especially apologize to our developmentally delayed citizens.
Then I knew I had my work cut out for me. It took me many reincarnations, much reading of the master editors speaking of their craft, tons of trial and error and more than a little soul searching to find the film's voice. It wasn't easy and I am still unsure how well I did. But I gamely entered the battle, have scars to prove it and came out all the better filmmaker for it.
They say you create a film when you write it, you kill it when you film it and you must bring it back to life again in the editing room. Before this project I had no idea what that meant. Now I have taken a crash course in editing CPR. Editing is so much more than stringing together the film as planned, it is truly at it's best the final rewrite of the project. The last chance to make it better. The only chance to make it all it can be.
So it is with more than a little sorrow that I say goodbye to a system that has taught me so much. It won't be far away, like a favorite dressy shirt that no longer fits I am handing it "down". It will now happily be an audio workstation for Michele. Audio work is much less intensive than visual for a computer system so it will be a semi-retirement, or a second career. I'll come down now and then for a visit. But I will never forget the days, long nights, and drama we slogged through together. Goodbye old friend. Like most of us you are greater than the sum of your circuitry.
