Lancaster: Thaddeus Stevens and our duty to once again rebel.

Lancaster County went for Donald Trump and even more significantly Lancaster County and surrounding Pennsylvania Counties probably made Donald Trump the President of the United States of America. It is interesting to consider this in light of our most famous and influential Lancastrian, the great abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens.

I am no professional historian, but as a citizen of Lancaster and the filmmaker who directed the Thaddeus Stevens documentary in 2005 for the local Historical Society, I know a few things about history here in our region. Let me share what I have learned with you now.

Back in the mid 1800s when our nation was far more divided than it is now, it was the time of the Civil War  and slavery and the moral character of our nation hung in the balance. It was at this most pivotal moment that Thaddeus Stevens was a voice for equality of the races within the US Congress. He was, in fact, one of the bravest and most morally just Americans in our nation's history. We have every right to claim him as ours here in Lancaster, Pennsylvania because his legacy is our legacy.

Thaddeus Stevens was a lawyer, and it was an early case in his career that shaped the man Thaddeus was to become. With his fabulous oratory, he argued in court that a slave who made her escape to Pennsylvania and was caught should be returned to her rightful slave owner down south. Winning the case and watching the woman to return to bondage brought about his magnificent turn of conscience. Thaddeus vowed he would devote the rest of his life to the freedom of all people. Thaddeus Stevens became one of the greatest defenders of human rights of all time.

Thaddeus moved to Lancaster Pa. from Gettysburg, and he was elected to serve as our congressional representative. The reason Thaddeus was perennially elected here without fear of political opposition, was because our Lancaster area has a very deep and strong Christian tradition. As we all know then as now, the teachings of Jesus Christ are pacifism and equal and kind treatment for all of God's children. Thaddeus was elected time and time again on the Amish, Mennonite and Germanic Christian vote here, and he was elected by such huge margins that he was a sure bet - and this support from his fellow Christian Lancastrians gave him great national power.

Thaddeus was himself a social outcast. He remained a lifelong bachelor, was considered a homely man, and had a tragic limp from a childhood deformity that caused him to walk with a cane. In 1860 a deformity like Thaddeus had was seen as a touch from the devil himself. Perhaps this is why he so deeply understood others who society also marginalized. Thaddeus took for his closest confidant and business partner a mixed race black woman, Lydia Hamilton Smith. She ran his numerous business properties in Lancaster, an astounding position in that era for a black woman. In a massive breech of 1800s protocol he insisted that visiting white congressmen and dignitaries must rise to greet her and treat her with every respect that a white woman would receive. He was targeted by the KKK and written death threats left on his door were commonplace. Yet Thaddeus, our most famous Lancastrian, was undeterred.

Thaddeus became one of the most highly respected and powerful congressmen of all time. Politically to the left of Lincoln on civil rights, he pushed Lincoln to more quickly take the necessary steps to free the slaves. From Thaddeus' viewpoint, Lincoln was too slow, too middling, too politically cautious. His dying act after the slaves were freed was to pen the 14th amendment to the US Constitution in his own handwriting -  giving black Americans and freed slaves equal freedoms under the law.  He wrote much of it in longhand here in his Lancaster City townhouse near the square.

Stevens was a proud member of the Republican Party.

Lets be clear here ~ Thaddeus Stevens, one of the greatest Republicans in all of history, did not see the constitution as a miraculous perfect document created by founding fathers that were infallible, but as a document that required his improvements, and he made them.

Fast forward to November 2016. Lancaster County, Pennsylvania had the opportunity to be vital in the selection of the 45th President of the United States of America. Our choice 148 years after Stevens death was to vote in vast numbers for a man who has been endorsed by the KKK, the same KKK that wanted Stevens dead. Donald Trump's windfall was the Christian vote here in Lancaster County and elsewhere across our land. It is Donald Trump who now leads the party of Thaddeus Stevens. Donald Trump was opposed by virtually all of black America.

In the days after Trump's election, white students marched in the halls of a York College with signs celebrating white supremacy. In Lancaster's Franklin and Marshall College, a swastika was written in a professor's board - a pain multiplied by her family history of escaping the holocaust. The KKK who supported Trump are raising confederate flags and publicly making it known they expect favors in return for their support. Trump himself has remained coy with these groups and appeared to many to court and inflame them to an unprecedented degree. We can only imagine the sharp tongued attacks Stevens would mount in opposition to a Trump ascendancy. 

Lancaster, and specifically Christian republicans of Lancaster, can you really claim Stevens now? Or has the true legacy of Thaddeus Stevens been reborn in Lancaster's thriving gay community, our the churches of color, in athiests and religiously disenfranchised who protest, and in the brave Christians who have been fighting against the grain to reclaim the vision, who follow Christ's footsteps in far greater lockstep than this red tide, and in those who now stand outside of Lancaster County's and this nation's Hall of Power.

There are moments that call for deep reflection. This is one. Might I suggest a stroll through the cemetery on Chestnut Street and Mulberry downtown would be a lovely place to do just that. Thaddeus has a beautiful spot there - in the only cemetery here that would bury both blacks and whites at the time of his death. It is a very good place to sit beside old Thaddeus and ask yourself just have far have we truly come?

Authenticity

   I still believe in authenticity. In an age of digital recreations this is becoming more rare. Some may argue for an easier slight of hand.

   I prefer to go the distance to find something that not only reads as authentic, it is authentic- and in that way brings at least a bit more truth to the work, even if I am the only one who knows it.


    In the case of our music video for Michele's song COLD WAR this philosophy delayed our project until two authentic elements were in place. #1. we waited for Michele's hair to grow out so that we can cut it back during the filming of the video in order to show the passage of time. Therefore, we are filming it in reverse sequence. And #2. we wanted to film the final shot in one of the most desolate places we could find to represent an imaginary landscape in a post nuclear world. What better place than the landscape where the very first atomic bomb was dropped - White Sands, New Mexico.

  One could argue that the Cold War began before the hot war of World War 2 had even resolved.  On July 16, 1945 Oppenheimer's Manhattan Project culminated in the first successful nuclear blast ever detonated, code named TRINITY and exploded near Alamogordo, New Mexico. Today the USGov continues to operate a missile and space testing facility in the region of White Sands, and the National Parks Service runs White Sands National Monument which shares ground with the missile testing facility. At least twice a week roads are closed here for missile testing even today. This is the place we felt most deserving to be the final image of our video, a place where not only did the Cold War start, but a place in which, if there is an ongoing or resurgent Cold War, it is continuing now.

    The fact of the matter is White Sands is a geologically, not a nuclearly created visual landscape. Whatever scars the TRINITY left on the land are long gone except for those remnants still detectable on a Geiger counter. The bomb was detonated about 30 miles north of where we filmed. The history, to me, is important - and the fact that White Sands not only visually represents the desolation and cinematic harshness we were seeking, but it also adds the layer of historical importance behind the frame - made the 36 hour drive out west for a single sequence well worth it for the project.

    The stars look amazing from a tent in White Sands too. We backpacked in with our equipment to get the most remote imaging possible. In White Sands, very little life can survive and therefore it is eerily silent - there are almost no bugs or birds. I suppose in a post nuclear world that would also be the case... I would never even thought of that had I not visited White Sands.

COLD WAR - song and video

One can ask the question are we now entering the second Cold War? In fact many pundits are asking that question, yet most of us have a dim understanding of the first one.

We at Haverstick Films have spent the last few years viewing the first Cold War from a number of angles, starting with the Space Race with Russia, expanding to the square off with the Soviets in the aftermath of WW2 and ultimately into the cloaked dance for power throughout the 50's, 60's and 70's. Our interest is and always has been a specific interest in women's roles. In such a masculine endeavor as wars both cold and hot this woman's footprint, as history has written it, can often be hard to find. But making up over 50% of humanity we are confident it is there, perhaps right even in front of the nose of those who wrote the history books. Most authors, of course, having been male.

So it is fitting that starting off our Cold War series of work is the debut of a song by Michele Mercure. It is a plea in fact for peace yet a dead on analysis of the essence of the standoff. Haverstick Films will be interpreting this song with a music video - the first in our Cold War series, and Michele Mercure is well into the process of recording and mixing her next album of the same subject.

Here is a preview of the song - still a demo version. This song was written by Michele with Lancaster's Patrick White on bass, from NYC Tony Geballe on lead guitar and producing, and Michele co-producing on vocals guitars and synths. I will be posting periodic blogs on this video project.

ZOETROPOLIS - Our gem, let's keep it polished!

Leigh Lindsay did it, she brought Zoetropolis back.

She couldn't stroll on a sidewalk in downtown Lancaster for very long without someone asking her to consider it. I know I stopped her many times, poked and prodded and hinted and encouraged her to do it - and now she has. The old Zoetropolis was really special. And so is the new one.

I went and saw my first film there last night - Leonie. It was just the type of film that wouldn't make it to Lancaster without a Zoetropolis. Don't believe the hype - Penn Cinemas bring in very very few truly small indie films, but rather occasionally use a screen to show and very big and widely accepted "independent" film that may or may not be very truly independent. They have tried but they are not in a position to be a true indie champion. It is impossible for the larger multiplexes to really dedicate space to independent works so they can only wade in every so often and only so far. For many years now Lancaster has not had exposure to some of the world's most interesting cinema. The Point of View gamely tried but may have recently ran their last lap. The Ware Center is a wonderful addition to our city, but is not set up as a dedicated film venue and film is not their primary mission. There is but one venue truly dedicated to independent films. That is Zoetropolis.

The experience entering the film screening room is one of the best I have ever seen. Gorgeous hardwood floors, creative layout of seats including comfy sofas that you will remember being a hallmark of the old space, as well as at least double the number of seats total compared to the old screening room. The projection and surround sound were first rate and the acoustics in the room were excellent. It is an ideal film experience.

Now it's your turn.

You see, the reason Lancaster has been left out of the national conversation when interesting smaller films gain a buzz is because a city our size is just on the cusp of numerically being able to sustain such a venture, in fact our little city is probably just below the threshold of being the right size from a strictly monetary theatrical investment standpoint for an arthouse venue. That means we will only be able to have such an experience in our town if we make the effort to support it.

It is not a difficult effort. An evening at Zoetropolis will be more fun and easier on your pocketbook than a trip to the crowded, sticky, teen infested multiplex. They will be showing films on the whole that will be more intelligent. But we in Lancaster who care about these things need to make one little adjustment - and as you plan your day, just remember that we now have a little gem in our midst - one with a entrepreneur, a female owned business that has taken a gamble to make our town a little bit better, a little bit more sophisticated and a little bit more in the national and international loop.

Vote with you pocketbooks and with your time. You will be rewarded. My evening at Zoetropolis last night was my best moviegoing experience in a few years. They say hello and ask you how you enjoyed your evening and the film. When was the last time anyone asked if you enjoyed the film at a multiplex? These are your neighbors creating this for you.

Let's tip our hats to them and better yet, show them what this means to us. Lancaster is the better for it. Now let's show Leigh that we are a good enough city to deserve this.

http://www.zoetropolis.com/

MENTOR SERIES - The Late RALF D. BODE A.S.C.

One of the questions I get from up and coming filmmakers is where did I learn the craft. I often reply that since I did not attend film school I am self taught. But that really is only half of the picture. I fact I have sought out and been lucky enough to have connected with a series of mentors who have shared either directly, or indirectly their wisdom.

One of the earliest and most important mentors I learned from was Oscar nominated cinematographer Ralf Bode. I took a master cinematography class in Rockport Maine and Ralf was the teacher, but we stayed in close contact for years after. I would call Ralf up of I had a particularly tricky sequence or was trying something new. For me it is important that you have something in common with a mentor, such as a certain aesthetic or approach that you can relate to or work well be learning from. In the case of my friendship with Ralf we shared both.


There are things that Ralf taught in that class that I am only really beginning to grasp NOW. One fundamental truth that Ralf shared and that has stayed with me is that the process of testing, be it your film stock, cameras. workflow or any other variable and fully understanding it BEFORE the actual shoot is ongoing and a necessity for every single major project. Certainly Ralf with all his years of experience knew so much about how film would respond, yet even if KODAK had not changed film types between projects he went ahead and retested the latitude before every project just in case there were subtle differences in the BATCHES of film. In this digital age with technologies changing so quickly this axiom holds even more true today.

But it was also clear that while a scientific method could be applied to control and master variables he knew that what really makes the work soar is emotion. Another lesson that has stayed close for me is that in any full length feature film, the face of the lead character will be on screen for a tremendous time... and one must think of filming that face in many different lights, angles and perspectives to fully realize the character and support performance. There can be a tendency to film from an actor's "best" angle. While this is important to be aware of, repetitive filming can detract from performance and story intensity. As in all things, balance.

These are just a few things I learned from the gracious and gentlemanly Mr. Ralf Bode. He was known for being especially sensitive to filming actresses well. Things you may have seen that Ralf filmed are, the famous B unit scene in ROCKY where he climbs the Philadelphia steps, the principle filming on SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER, Jodi Foster's riveting performance in THE ACCUSED and his Oscar nominated film for cinematography COAL MINER'S DAUGHTER.


RALF BODE - 1941-2001

Getting In Sync!

Been spending the last few days meeting and greeting my new adopted doggie and when she sleeps I get time in between to sync the takes of the Edie Carey video for LOVE. Syncing takes is always the moment when you reacquaint yourself with what you just did. In my case this time it was holding my breath and making sure I had gotten everything.
After all we had three days blocked for filming. The first two were for primary filming and the third a weather day. As it turned out we got gorgeous light on evening one with less grand light forcast, so I made the command decision to get it all then. Was it an ok choice?
Looking at what I have here I am feeling like I did make the good call. We really rolled a lot of footage in that 3 hour light window. I am sure I will want to film a few transitional timelapses, but that's fine.
Much of a music video's energy and "story" comes through editing. This one is no exception. Color choices are also key. While I planned that to some extend there is always room to play. And to discover new things.
Edie did a great job preparing and giving me a lot to work with. I will share discoveries as I come upon them. Some of the joy of editing is in the accidental juxtaposing of images.
Okay, back to it! More soon!

On The Day

Filming is always a venture into the unknown... You can plan and prep but "On The Day" you must always adjust to what is. Yesterday we began, and probably completed the principle photography for Edie Carey's video LOVE. I say probably because Mother Nature is involved and basically she is in charge of our lighting department for this shoot. We hated to put her to work on Mother's Day but in spite of it all she delivered.

We had two full days and a rain date scheduled. But in her infinite wisdom Mother N decided to test our prowess by giving us almost two hours of spectacular light and she basically said"I dare you to try and get everything done". Having checked the modern oracle of the iphone I saw that this was going to be our best light window so our crew swung into action and we got great stuff.

Thanks to Chase, Quin and Ned for their great work... Lots of hurry up and prep and wait for light and then a scramble. I have a few more pickup and transitional shots to get but I think for the performance stuff Mother N won't be sending us any better opportunities... and in filming you have to jump on those moments!

I'll post a few more pics soon... Also it was my first shoot operating a steadicam... I need work on my operating on it to really be proficient but you've got to start somewhere. I think my handheld stuff was more dynamic but my 20 years expertise handholding vs two days practice on the steadicam makes a difference. Still that steadicam is amazing.

More soon! Thanks to a great crew, snappy camera assisting from Michele and Edie's patience and workability! Fun stuff...

Thanks to www.vintagebluesguitars.com!

We are only a week away from the EDIE CAREY/LOVE video shoot now and Edie has approved the concept. It is a simple one which echoes the elegant simplicity of the song itself.
In the song we are going to have Edie perform the verses three different ways, representative of three different phases of life, or three different points in the curve of one's maturity. I will not give away every element of the concept here but to say that her three selves will of course need three different guitars.
Since this concept will hinge on the details and not on any one flashy effect or big budget performance section we knew we would have to get across the differences in Edie in the three sections visually quite quickly and so having her perform on three different guitars seemed to be called for.
Our friends at www.vintagebluesguitars.com have sold collectible guitars to numerous famous performing artists, so who would know better about distinctive looks for Edie than these guys. Sure enough they had some great guitars in their inventory which we can use for the shoot, and by the way all of these beauties are currently available, although I think a call may have come in for one of them.
Listen to the song LOVE on the homepage of ediecarey.com and if you are a guitarist or instrument lover you really should check out vintagebluesguitars.com.
More soon, we are really gearing up now for this shoot!

I learned a great lesson on one of my early short films LANCASTER COUNTY 2020. I was shooting a section to music where the lyrics told of a futuristic carnival atmosphere in a song called AMISH WUNDERWORLT. The idea was that in 2020 there was this crazy wacky amusement park which was very exploitative of the Amish. There was a lyric that said "And for you thru the keyhole peerers, an Amish home with two way mirrors! Watch them sleep and watch them eating! What them pray in Sunday meeting!". This was to be a funhouse in the carnival where you could watch Amish people as an attraction.

Naturally this was beyond the capability of our budget (ZERO!) to pull off an actual Amish House populated with Amish people and a crowd watching them, but we did not know how to interpret this and did not want to lose the idea entirely, so what is a filmmaker to do?

Being in a jam often leads to a much better idea that is cost effective, do-able, less literal and much better anyway! I wound up shooting a crowd of onlookers with a fisheye lens and ten faces jammed all up at my lens looking at it. I used this visual under this whole section and it was so much more powerful than recreating the whole thing. At it's essence it was about the lookers, not the Amish funhouse. Problem solved! Budget intact! BETTER IDEA!

So I didn't panic when my first idea for the Edie Carey LOVE video ran into a glitch. I had looked into the possibility of getting one of our fabulous local opera houses (Fulton, Strand) for a performance section. I had some things in mind to make it a bit more than straightforward, but it would have been a simple lovely location to film... but in many ways not that creative.

Those theaters are pretty booked up and this video we are filming is low budget. Rentals on those buildings weren't in the plan and especially rentals where we load in and rush our filming, trimming the good ideas from the shot list to make it happen on their timetable. There is another thing I've learned... make sure you have a location where you have full control and aren't rushed.

So these last few days I have modified my original idea and now have something MUCH more creative, much more doable on our budget (shoestring) and one that I think will be a much better video in the end. I have yet to go over everything with Edie but just got in touch so we can do that... If she likes I will share! I hope I am in the right direction, but first and foremost I am interpreting her work and must be 100% in keeping with her thinking and feelings about the song.

I will report. Wish me luck... but I know that when you get sent back to the drawing board, you so often draw something better. Never fear, just know it will come.

coming soon --- LOVE!

I am going to start blogging on a project we are very excited about... The upcoming filming of a music video for singer/songwriter Edie Carey! Edie and I have agreed that we are going to be cinematically interpreting the first song on her CD Bring the Sea... The song title is LOVE and you can hear the track on the main page of her website www.ediecarey.com!
A few years ago Edie got in contact with me about doing a video for her last album. At that time I was finishing up my last feature film HOME and I had to keep putting off the project. Well if you wait long enough good things happen... Edie released another album, HOME is done and out to it's audience. So when I saw I had a window of time for the project I got back in touch with Edie. The timing worked this time, so here we go, with LOVE.
I get many requests to share my working process with up and coming filmmakers. A lot goes into shooting a music video well. We are about 6 weeks away from filming and while I have a few concepts I haven't even shared them with Edie yet, so that is how early we are in this project.
I invite you to follow along on this blog as the project evolves. Okay, now with you watching the pressure will be on... Here we go... ready, set... LOVE... coming soon!

The End of Barns

   Nothing lasts forever or so they say. Wanna prove this concept? Just start doing some home improvements. I mean by yourself. Wow. Put on a coat of paint and let the clock tick away. Before you know it those lovely old windows that you trimmed are cracked and peeling, the decks you stained have faded and even hard wood posts which looked solid have weathered cracked and now look iffy. What's a weekend home depot warrior to do?

    But the really scary part is you can extrapolate this process to just about everything on God's green earth, including and especially YOURSELF! Even entire species get wiped out as a part of mother nature's spring cleaning. Now there's a woman who knows how to toss stuff. 

     Today's essay will hone in on one of her often overlooked casualties but we can't pin this on Mother N alone as man has had a neglectful hand. I speak of our nation's historic barns, many of which  crumple in decay across the center of this great land.

     More than a handful of road trips of late have taken me across the nation's midland. From the interstates you can't see much other than the duplicate strip foods and gas mother ship landing stations. But in that little window of America that you can see from the road is the startling sight of barn after barn after wood barn abandoned, perforated and sagging. A once proud symbol of the pioneer ancestor's prosperity is now left to return to dust on farms that one presumes may now be in the hands of agricultural corporations.

    A common sight is a cement silo standing proudly without it's partner. Another is a wooden outbuilding with a broken back silhouetted across the evening skyline. Still more common is an old grey shell with some remaining boards, no longer much of an obstacle to prairie winds.

   I am not sure why this bothers me but it does. Perhaps it marks a change in our food production from family farms to conglomoculture. Perhaps it is just that it is an aesthetic shame. Perhaps it is just a reminder that we and all we create are temporary.

I throw this out for you to ponder. Anything that makes enough impact for one to exit the freeway to get a  picture for a future blog must have some significance. I share and wonder why I have been affected by these sights. Evidently I am not alone. From one barn remnant in Michigan hung a sign shouting  "Save the Barns" at passers-by and pointing to this website ...

www.mibarn.net

I did not have the energy to exit and photograph that one. I can't help but wonder why.

haverstickfilms.com

FINALLY! Today I uploaded my FLASH masterpiece...aka my beginner website effort in flash, the new Haverstick Films website. Check it out at www.haverstickfilms.com and of course you will need flash to view it, plus a DSL or cable level connection is recommended.
Now much like camping excursion to the Grand Tetons, in order to enjoy this website at this point in time you will need to endure a few pesky bugs. I am aware of them and am working to fix them (eventually) but don't rain on my parade with emails on them just yet because, folks I am darn proud of learning flash and creating this website 100% minus two percent myself! ....fine print disclaimer.... I did need the help of Flash expert and dear friend Adam Clark of Trick Digital to assist in some of the final navigation coding to the pages, but we will not officially give him any credit as Adam is a Flash master and will not want his name on a buggy beginner effort I am certain. You can check out some of his truly amazing work at www.trickdigital.com. He was a gentleman and stifled any snickers when he gazed on my code, but I am very pleased to have used my grey matter to learn what I certainly consider quite a difficult program to get this far with flash.
While I am accepting my Academy Award from FLASH and thanking my mentors I would like to also thank a person I have never met, Nathaniel this young Flash wizard who has put online free tutorials to learn various programs and I followed these things to the letter. If any of you ever want to teach yourself new programs I really recommend this dude at www.tutvid.com, and I also can tell you when you are desperate with a question he even answers your desperation emails.
Anyway, I am still working on perfecting and bebugging, but I am pretty pleased to have gotten this far!
By the way this web launch also marks a switch to our new Haverstick Films logo. The logo and the website were all created from images I took with my cell phone. While much of the film and digital world is going into bigger resolution and more pixels I am enjoying the challenge of creating imagery on my iphone, using such a pure and simple tool can bring clarity.
Enjoy!

Give Me Back My Face

So I get a little obsessive. Some things are easy to obsess about.

    Recently I have wondered if I "turn off my face" so as to commit the 2% of brain power it takes to activate your face and put it toward problem solving. I'm serious. When I am thinking about things I get like that, not a good habit especially when you are supposed to be listening to someone. I am actually trying to kick the habit, but it does seem that the extra 2% sometimes nudges the brain into a successful result, even though you will have no friends left because while you are problem solving you look like a serial murderer. I really do not recommend "turning off your face" to get that little last brain boost.

    So, wouldn't it be nice if these obsessions were pleasurable? But nope, not really. There is of course the fleeting happiness moment of solving the problem but fleeting it is.

    Don't worry, all of my obsessions sadly are G-rated. That is quite a bummer and will no doubt make this blog much less interesting. Get ready to get very bored because here is an example of the latest.

    I wanted to do a really nice upgrade on the Haverstick Films website and if anyone knows anything about the Haverstick Films Method they know this involves learning how to do it and building it yourself from scratch. I had seen that the websites I admired were usually built in a program called Flash, so Flash would be the program of choice.

    I am not in love with FLASH, but we are clearly living together already. Upon first meeting through a series of web video tutorials I was disenchanted and initially questioned my choice as this is not a user friendly program. In fact at times it doesn't even make sense. Kind of like a crazy person, and they have a way of fascinating me too.

    Gradually I found that with FLASH there was a method to the madness, the crazy coding language with the necessary perfect punctuation. One tiny typo or misplaced space in 15 pages of crazymaking code and you are punished with failure of your entire website, a website you have worked on for over a month. Quite  a heavy-handed and torturous backlash for a small infraction, and some would leave such a cruel and heartless program for bluer and easier skies. But that person would not be me.

    Oh I thought about it. I mean I really don't think I like FLASH. It's just that I wake up 15 times a night thinking about it. The good news is that I will have no problem breaking up with Flash when the time comes. I am already planning my exit. After 4 weeks of Flash hell I am probably only a week or two from completing this website which took far longer than I expected. Then I will put Flash away and not revisit it until the next upgrade. By that time FLASH will have upgraded too and we will get to know each other all over again. Next time I also plan to keep my face turned on all throughout our courtship. But then it will be a second go-round and that is never quite the same.

    I am sure in the meantime a new obsession will arise....

My Harddrive

Welcome to the rumblings in my head. As a child I was hyperactive, or so they say. Now I am cursed with a brain that goes around in speedy circles like my dog does when he sees his dish hovering above his head. As a writer I suppose I am to harness this into something meaningful. But in a blog there can be a free form style of just throwing out there the day's thought string, and that is exactly how I will use this forum.

If there happens to be anyone on the other end holding a little can to their ear, why hello! If not then I guess this is writing practice. Either way, here goes...

Today is a big day of sorts... I am upgrading my editing system for a much newer operating system, a newer computer and upgraded auxiliary programs. This sounds technical enough but I have found the process to be surprisingly emotional.

Emotions are often surprising. My mother's last words were "It's surprising, the emotional responses in death". Her voice sounded happy about it but she was deeply somewhere else and could not elaborate even after some intensive follow up questioning.

So who would think switching software and computer hardware would summon much other than the requisite anxiety and hairpulling involved in tech support? I guess it depends on what kind of meaningful time has been spent with the old system, and in my case therein lies the rub.

You see, I created a whole film on this system, a very personal film. But that alone could be viewed as just a tool in the process if it weren't for how much I learned on this project sitting in this chair seeing images on this screen being played by this software. I did not like my first edit of the film at all. In fact after viewing it the first time I actually hysterically blurted "Oh My God! I have given birth to an ugly and retarded baby! How can I love it?". I am aware how hideously politically incorrect that is but I was traumatized so please forgive me and I especially apologize to our developmentally delayed citizens.

Then I knew I had my work cut out for me. It took me many reincarnations, much reading of the master editors speaking of their craft, tons of trial and error and more than a little soul searching to find the film's voice. It wasn't easy and I am still unsure how well I did. But I gamely entered the battle, have scars to prove it and came out all the better filmmaker for it.

They say you create a film when you write it, you kill it when you film it and you must bring it back to life again in the editing room. Before this project I had no idea what that meant. Now I have taken a crash course in editing CPR. Editing is so much more than stringing together the film as planned, it is truly at it's best the final rewrite of the project. The last chance to make it better. The only chance to make it all it can be.

So it is with more than a little sorrow that I say goodbye to a system that has taught me so much. It won't be far away, like a favorite dressy shirt that no longer fits I am handing it "down". It will now happily be an audio workstation for Michele. Audio work is much less intensive than visual for a computer system so it will be a semi-retirement, or a second career. I'll come down now and then for a visit. But I will never forget the days, long nights, and drama we slogged through together. Goodbye old friend. Like most of us you are greater than the sum of your circuitry.